I have started to see a pattern in how I deal with personal issues especially relationship related. First reaction is always a disbelief-when-stabbed kinda feeling. Everything becomes numb and only one question circles around "how could this be happening to me?'. This is followed by a stage when the mind and heart starts turning that initial one liner into a sort of epic tragedy- with some props like appropriate music. And then an intense self instropection and questionning session starts trying to find answers or explaination. Mostly of course its a self-dialogue. This is the time when mind starts taking over the heart- which I dont like always and eventually a epic story in the making dies a lacklustre death. Mind wins by hammering the thought that nothing matters..nothing will so dont make a big deal about it...there are more bigger real issues to tackle. And apparently I come out of the experience but I have an inkling it is not so innocent or straightforward as it seems (even to me). I think it somehow adds up till an overpowering wall of numbness builds up and before you realise- something dies down.