Started cleaning and segregating stuff for packing away at around 7pm and now it is almost 10 pm and I am not even 30% done. I am exhausted-not so much from the physical effort as the emotional drain out. I hate packing and shifting unless it means just throwing all the stuff in a box/carton or a briefcase and taking it to the next destination.
Its the sifting through all the things to decide which ones to throw away and which ones to keep that kills me. This is more difficult if there are 3-4 types of categories to put the things into- like what do I need for next 6 months and what'll I need only after that. Good-to-have, need-to-have and so on.
As you take out each cloth, paper, CD or card- countless memories come rushing in and weighing on you more than the thing in your hand itself. Bitter-sweet memories but the after-feeling is always a kind of sadness emanating from the awareness that the thing in your hand signifies a past which has gone by never to return again. The persons, places or events connected to those things may not exist anymore or at least maynot be connected to your life anymore but the thought that at some time they were important to you and not anymore arouses a feeling of despondency. An old pitcure-do I keep it? A 7-yr old card-do I throw it? A long forgotten record of monthly calculation of expenses abandoned in between- why did I start doing it and why did I leave suddenly? An old ticket-reminding of a nice holiday-when will I be able to go back to that place again?
I hate these junctures in life though I admit these provide opportunities to spring clean one's life and brain's hard drive.
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